The Liam McEneaney Experience

And I will start by saying that my mom was always a good cook. BUT - she was always worried that pork chops were going to give and my sister trichyn - tricch - sickness. So she would cook them until they were the color, shape, and consistency of hockey pucks. Seriously, I once got a splinter in my gums from these things. You dipped them in a glass of water, they wouldn't get wet - they'd just dissolve and make gravy.

You might well ask, "Why bother to make pork chops at ally?" because if she didn't, then pork would win and HER FAMILY WAS GOING TO ENJOY POKR CHOPS WHETHER THEY LIKED IT OR NOT.

Now, it was a night when my father was working late, it was my sister, my mother, and I sitting around the table, staring at our dinner. And my mom gets a phone call, and my sister and I look at each other.

Now, I don't know where my sister got the ping pong ball; I assume it was from a school art project. All I know is, when my mother came back, my sister and I were playing Ping Pong across the table using the pork chops as paddles.

And my mother said, "Do you think that's funny?"

And I said, "Yes."

And she said, "Well, you can go to bed without any dinner."

And we both said, "YAYYY!"

And then she said, "Get back in here. Now you're going not going to not go to bed without not eating - eat the damn pork chops!"

And then she said, "You know, there are starving children in Africe who would be happy to see those pork chops."

And I said, "Why? because they forgot what real food looks like?"

And my mother picked me up over shoulder one-handed like an NFL linebacker and carried me into the living room for a spanking.

That's right, bitches. We've all got Grand Theft Auto IV. Some of you are taking your time exploring the game's vast world. Some of you are there to kick ass and some of you are enjoying the "social satire."

But I, and only I, have pwned all of you by completely finishing GTAIV in a shade under THREE HOURS. And I have the screenshots to prove it. Suck it bitches!

First of all, here's me carjacking an elderly couple right off the bat:



You see that shiz-bit? I'm pointing a gun at those motherfuckers and turning them bitch, just like I'm doing to all of you with my amazing GTAIV SKILLZ SET.

And speaking of shiz-bitches, you gotta look good when you're styling around Liberty City. Which is why I bought me these dope motherfucking pants. I got them for free by killing the cashier, as you can see in this screenshot:



Next I am with my main girl Michele. Some of you fucked her on the second date. Some of you fucked her on the first date. I, and only I, managed to fuck her within ten minutes of meeting her. Enjoy this screen capture:



Of course, you can get caught by the motherfuckin' Russian mafia. I did. Here they are literally beating the shit out of me:



And when you win the game - and believe me when I say I pwned that motherfucker - you get this final screen:



In conclusion, you suck and I rule!

TELL YOUR FRIENDS!
Monday, February 25th
The Lolita Bar
226 Broome St.
(corner of Allen St.)
8:00pm - FREE

* * * * *

HOST: Eric Kirchberger

WITH:
Tom Shillue
starred in his own "Comedy Central Presents: Tom Shillue" 1/2-hour special, and just released his own album, "Overconfident!"

Marina Franklin
has been seen on “Chapelle’s Show”, NBC’s “Last Comic Standing,” “Show Time at The Apollo,” Comedy Central’s “Premium Blend,” Dutch TV's "The Comedy Factory" and the BBC’s “The World Stands Up,” and at the Montreal Comedy Festival and the Bonnaroo Music Festival

Liam McEneaney
from VH1's "Best Week Ever" and Comedy Central's "Premium Blend"

Mike Dobbins
is an awesome, insane force of comedy nature

and special guest:

Karin Fagerlund
is a news anchor for TV-4 in Sweden, making her stand-up debut!

WHAT THE PRESS HAS SAID ABOUT "TELL YOUR FRIENDS!"
* Time Out New York called it a "DON'T MISS" several times, and said: "With a slew of talented stand-ups . . . and folk-rock duo 'A Brief View of the Hudson,' Liam McEneaney's new show—and 'workout comedy room'—is sure to please."

* The NY Daily News made it a Monday pick of the day.

* AM New York put it in their "Best Bets" section.

* "Editor's Pick!" - clubfreetime.com

* The Onion says, "Though it's pegged as a 'workout room' for comics to test their new(ish) material, Liam McEneaney's weekly show Tell Your Friends flexes enough comedic muscle to pull its weight alongside more established downtown shows. Demetri Martin, Slovin & Allen, and Late Night With Conan O'Brien writer Brian Kiley are among the stand-ups who have squeezed into Lolita's narrow space since the show's debut this summer, alongside the surprisingly tolerable resident folk duo A Brief View of the Hudson."

* "It's been a while since we wrote about Tell Your Friends but this weekly comedy series deserves a nod. Every Monday they belt out top notch comedy at rock bottom prices with performers who have appeared on Comedy Central, Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Kimmel, and more." - FreeNYC.net

* "'Tell Your Friends!' This, the well-earned title of Lolita Bar's upcoming comedy show, rings true for anyone looking for a good time and great comedy at no charge.
(The comedians') collective resume spans Comedy Central, including "The Daily Show," "Premium Blend" and "Live at Gotham." They are simply some of the best club comedians in America today." - The Times Herald-Record (Upstate NY)

TELL YOUR FRIENDS!
Monday, February 18, 2008

The Lolita Bar
226 Broome St.
(corner of Allen St.)
8:00pm - FREE

HOST: Chris DeLuca

WITH:
Leo Allen
has his own "Comedy Central Presents: Leo Allen" 1/2-hour special, and the "Comedy Central Presents: Slovin & Allen" 1/2-hour special and he's been on "Ate Night w/ Conan O'Brien" and he's written for "Saturday Night Live"

Jackie Kashian
is the star of her own "Comedy Central Presents: Jackie Kashian" 1/2-hour special

Liam McEneaney
from VH1's "Best Week Ever" and Comedy Central's "Premium Blend"

Andres DuBouchet
is on strike from his job as a writer for FOX's "Talkshow w/ Spike Feresten"

A woman in her early 20s called me "sir."

What do you do?

I patted her on the head and offered her a hard candy.

Here I am, getting introduced in Swedish by my buddy Christopher at Comedy Street in Stockholm, Sweden. I was going to tape my whole set but, well, you'll see:



Here I am, on the last day of my tour, at Comedy Cellar in the International Bar in Dublin, Ireland. It's the oldest comedy club in Dublin, and if it's shot from a weird angle, it's because my friend Beth had to shoot it from the front row, because the audience was so crammed that otherwise she wouldn't have had a sightline. I was out of my mind from exhaustion, and I smelled like a pile of dirty laundry. Over all, it went well.

PART 1:



PART 2:



After my set, I went downsatirs to the bar, and a fiddle band started playing all spontaenious-like. Awesome. Too bad my camera has a kinda shitty mic, so you can't hear them too good. But please note that if your instrument only requires one hand, you can use the other hand for drinking your pint!' A great send-off for an amazing trip:

Santa's enjoying a smoke break: