Tuesday, August 20, 2002
OTHER ALERT LEVELS
I'm sure we're all familiar with Red, Yellow, and Blue, the beloved terrorism alertness levels that the Bush administration deploys every time a story breaks about an administration official getting involved in an insider trading scam. But did you know about these other levels?
* CODE MAUVE: Al Qaeda planning to redecorate American homes
* CODE POLKA DOT: Hundreds of terrorists planning to smuggle into US in one tiny clown car.
* CODE BURNT UMBER: Terrorists have taken the Crayola factory.
* CODE ULTRAVIOLET: Bin Laden in his parents' rec room listening to "Dark Side of the Moon"
* CODE KHAKI: Al Qaeda has infiltrated the Gap.
* CODE PAISLEY: Terrorists have struck 1967.
* CODE PINK: Al Qaeda planning to throw '70s theme disco party.
* CODE PUCE: Mohammed Atta working behind the counter at Laura Ashley
* CODE OHMYGODWEREALLGONNADIE: Someone found out about Cheney's little "mess" in '84.